Even harmonious relationships have a level of stress that can distract someone from recovery work. New relationships bring with them a sense of uncertainty at first that can also cause stress. Contrary to what many people think (that an addict's job is the first thing lost), drug use is first manifested in the dysfunction of the addict's relationships. Most recovering addicts have a long history of dysfunctional and destructive relationships.
Early in recovery, relationships are a major cause of relapse. Although the AA Big Book doesn't offer guidelines on dating during recovery, addiction counselors strongly recommend waiting until a person has reached one year of sobriety. There is no one-size-fits-all rule about dating in recovery. However, many experts, as well as the 12-step guidelines, recommend not dating for at least a year after being sober.
The philosophy behind this recommendation is understandable. During early recovery, we must focus on ourselves, learn to cope with stress, and try to minimize emotional triggers. While romantic relationships can be empowering and supportive, they can also be stressful and emotional. However, a good foundation in recovery can help us to better measure ourselves in the relationship, as well as in the relationship itself.
